“On my way to the parking lot, in quick succession, I saw students wearing t-shirts which read, “Save the whales. Collect the whole set,” “Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now,” and “Half the people you know are below average.” Typical for the Eastern student body.”

“If a tree falls in the forest and kills your ex-wife, what do you do with the lumber?”

“They say that a few minutes each day of petting your dog can raise your serotonin levels.”

“Hard work may pay off in the long run, but the benefits of laziness are immediate.”

“I was the kind of kid whose parents would drop him off at the local town library on their way to work, and I'd go and work my way through the children's area.”

“He was telling the students about the hypnotic technique of using quotes in a conversation. An idea is more palatable ... if it comes from someone else. "The unconscious thinks in terms of content and structure. If you introduce a pattern with the words, 'My friend was telling me,' the critical part of her mind shuts off.”

“Believe that your hard work, dedication and persistence will pay off; improve through continual learning and believe in your future.”