“And it came to pass that,as predicted by Zeus,Hephaestus, the perfectionist,was not too impressed when he discovered after the wedding that his lovely bride had not only been deflowered but was also pregnant.”

“Wherever he found his speech growing too modern -- which was about every sentence or two -- he ladled in a few such Scriptural phrases as "exceeding sore," "and it came to pass," etc., and made things satisfactory again. "And it came to pass" was his pet. If he had left that out, his Bible would have been only a pamphlet.”

“The story was however told that when Hephaestus was instructed to create Pandora, he had misunderstood Zeus` intentions.Pandora should have been given wings so that the abilities of men could at least equal those of the beasts.But instead, Hephaestus gave women the burdens of ovulation,pregnancy,catamenia,birth pangs & of suckling their offspring, the abilities that enabled the beasts to reproduce themselves:burdens from which Goddesses & Nymphs were spared & happy to be without.”

“The best part of the ceremony was after Shy kissed his bride, and when we were done, he didn't let go. So I stood in his arms, my thumb stroking his jaw, my eyes gazing up at him. the world had melted away, so I didn't hear the hoots and hollers of friends and family. I only heard what he muttered in a voice that was weirdly raw but unbelievable beautiful: "Like I'm the only man on the planet." In that minute, he was but then again, for me, really, when it came down to it, he always had been.”

“I have often had the impression that, to penguins, man is just another penguin -different, less predictable, occasionally violent, but tolerable company when he sits still and minds his own business.”

“The wedding day is perfect for the bride only if she is marrying the best man!”