“And thus it was a right old shambles as anyone could see. Call it Chaos, if you like, the state of affairs when Love went wrong. And everyone wanted to know who the culprit was, who had stolen what rightfully belonged to Hephaestus. And as Zeus was non-commital in the matter, Hera naturally suspected him as the culprit. But the Goddesses agreed that the baby when born, would naturally resemble his father. And thus, when Priapus was born, the culprit would be exposed.”

“Hera thus suggested that she would tell Zeus that he had to couple with Aphrodite as a matter of duty, not love,since this was the wish of Eros & Chaos who were responsible for the Big Bang.And Themis volunteered to tell Aphrodite that she would have to couple with the King of the Gods for the same reason.And thus Themis & Hera took it upon themselves to rectify the consequences of the Big Bang by arranging the Big Crunch. And when the news got around, all the Gods & Goddesses of Olympus said that they would like to witness the spectacle.”

“But on the minus side, Zeus had also had his share of fiascos. He swallowed Metis, the Goddess of Wisdom & Prudence, & thus was responsible for the disappearance of both wisdom & prudence in Olympus. And he could not keep his hands off all those lovely Titanesses, Giantesses, Nymphs & Mortal women whom he loved or secretly loved. He took them to wife, even when they were unwilling, such as Metis, Leto, Asteria & Nemesis. And he raped them, even when they were not aware that they were being raped, such as Alcmene, Danae, Io & Europa. And these were only a few of his many love affairs that Hera knew. What he had managed to keep secret from Hera was his greatest love affair of all- his affair with the Goddess of Love, which had already resulted in the mis-begetting of the monstrous love-child, Priapus.”

“Hera said that Hephaestus was the one who made the lovely chariots for Zeus, Poseidon & Hades. Also the one for Helios, the Sun God. And if she married him, he might make one for her too. But she did not tell the young Goddess of Love why none of the Goddesses wanted to marry him in the first instance & that he was ugly & a cripple. She also omitted to tell her that Hephaestus, having created the first woman, Pandora, from clay, had neither the patience nor the inclination to woo & pamper women, let alone put up with the changing moods of the young lovely Goddesses at Olympus. And that even the warlike & down-to-earth Athena had dropped him like a ton of bricks.As Aphrodite did not appear to have any choices, she nodded her head & thus accepted Hera as her future mother-in-law. And this explains one of the greatest mysteries in Greek Mythology: why the loveliest & most beautiful of the Goddesses would agree to marry the ugliest of the Gods. For this mismatch would not have happened if not for Hera.”

“And thus it was to everyone`s surprise when Hera said that she would undertake to provide a whole amphora full of her husband`s seed- she would harvest them herself- if Aphrodite would promise to marry her brilliant son, Hephaestus, the sapient Craftsman of the Gods, when she was translated to Olympus.”

“When Zeus[Jupiter]first saw Aphrodite[Venus]& Aphrodite thus first saw Zeus, it was love at first sight.Naturally.Since Zeus was the King of the Gods, who loved all beautiful Goddesses.And Aphrodite was the Goddess of Love, the most beautiful & lovely of all the Goddesses.But love was all they had in common.”

“But since Pontus [the Sea] was male, only the sea creatures that lived in the sea could aspire to be Aphrodite`s mother. And it was for this reason that Aphrodite`s birth was delayed for so long. As Himeros & Chaos did not want to be born by a sea creature. And thus, Uranus` seed & testicles tossed & tossed on the waves for hundreds of years before Himeros & Chaos reached a compromise. Aphrodite would be born from a cockle, Konche, & Himeros & Chaos would be the shell of the baby cockle.”