“He was the King of the Gods & could have anything he wanted, but only in theory. Whilst in actual fact, he was the only God who could not have everything he wanted.He had to work hard, since the responsibilities of his office laid heavily on his shoulders.And he could not even play hard, as his jealous wife, Hera, had eyes everywhere.She even had the terrible Argos with the hundred eyes in her service.”

“The great Sea God,Poseidon, could not be more pleased with himself.Although he had lost to the young Goddess, he had really won.In theory,his manhood now belonged to Aphrodite,but whenever he visited her cave,he was made to feel even more of a king than in his own palace.All the lovely Goddesses of Olympus came to pay homage to his phallus & would, afterwards, help him to empty his sperm sacs.”

“But on the minus side, Zeus had also had his share of fiascos. He swallowed Metis, the Goddess of Wisdom & Prudence, & thus was responsible for the disappearance of both wisdom & prudence in Olympus. And he could not keep his hands off all those lovely Titanesses, Giantesses, Nymphs & Mortal women whom he loved or secretly loved. He took them to wife, even when they were unwilling, such as Metis, Leto, Asteria & Nemesis. And he raped them, even when they were not aware that they were being raped, such as Alcmene, Danae, Io & Europa. And these were only a few of his many love affairs that Hera knew. What he had managed to keep secret from Hera was his greatest love affair of all- his affair with the Goddess of Love, which had already resulted in the mis-begetting of the monstrous love-child, Priapus.”

“And Zeus told Aphrodite, in all sincerity, that he had now given up catching oysters for her sake. But could not help cursing her for having started him off in eating them. Since Hera had now taken over the show. She was the only Goddess in Olympus who had the ability to renew her virginity as she bathed in the spring of Kanathos, near Argos, & thus had taken upon herself the job of supplying him with fresh oysters.”

“Aphrodite then reminded Zeus what Themis had said. She had to swallow a whole amphora full of his seed before Eros & Chaos would let her girdle hang free. And she said that she looked forward to swallowing his seed, if he would let her. Zeus then took the young Goddess in his arms & told her that he would even willingly give her a whole amphora full of his blood if that would make her happy. He would like to give her all the seed that his sperm sacs could produce each day but only wished that the transaction did not have to go through Hera.”

“Hera also slept well that night as she had brilliantly engineered the coup of her life.Her wayward husband had returned late that evening & announced that he was too tired to make love.He had had a most entangling day,he said, performing his kingly duties.She then told him to have a good night`s rest as she had an important job for him to perform in the morning.It was a job demanded by Chaos & Eros who were responsible for the beginning of things, she said.”

“In his new will, Typhon had named Phyllis as his only surviving relative & called her his wife.And he thus bequeathed to Phyllis everything he owned, including his flesh, bones & offals. And thus the terrible Typhon had married Phyllis without telling her.[MMT]”