“Can I have a Happy Meal?""don't you think you're getting a little old for that?""I'm only seven, Dad.”

“We can buy you one of those books they have for little kids 'Timmy Has Two Dads'. Except I don't think they have one called 'Timmy Has Two Dads and One of Them Was Evil'. That part you're just going to have to work through on your own.”

“While I'm sure this is going to be a fascinating story,' I interrupted. 'I don't care. I'm having a major parental crisis that sort of outshines your little tantrum, and frankly it seems like my dad agrees with you. I have a party to get ready for, can we do this later?”

“You have sex on the brain twenty-four seven Viv. I think you might need therapy.""Perhaps I do. Don't get me wrong I'm no Russell Brand, but I do have quite an avid interest in shagging.”

“You'll have to forgive me," Dad said. His mouth was moving very little, a sign that he was tense. "I'm not...familiar with...the protocol. For boys like you. But I..."I felt my face turning red. No, no, no. Quit while you're ahead, Dad. Please."I'm sure you have...urges," Dad went on. "All teenage boys have...urges. I don't know whether you've...tried anything--"I said please!"Just as long as you're safe. That's very important. You still have to be safe, even if you're both boys. I don't know what really...um, entails. You know. How you...do things. I could look it up for you--"I clapped my hand over Dad's mouth. I took him by his arm, my face burning, and dragged him back to the field.”

“Darleen studies her drawing, then she looks up.'It's not that I don't believe you can get a B,' she says. 'I don't think you're half as dumb as you think I think you are.'If I was smarter, I'm sure I could figure that out.”