“I’m stuck babysitting turtle eggs while a volleyball player slash grease monkey slash aquarium volunteer tries to hit on me.” I’m not hitting on you,” he protested.No?”Believe me, you’d know if I was hitting on you. You wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from succumbing to my charms.”

“And if you can believe it…she slapped me again. “What the hell is wrong with you? Stop hitting me!” I finally looked up at her, but she was a blur. She hit me so hard my damn eyes were watering (I was not crying – eyes water. I think we all know I’m a badass and I don’t cry).”

“He grinned at me and whispered, “I’m going to kiss you now. It’ll be a big one, so don’t hit me.”

“Bryce looked at his mom, “I’m sick of talking to this old coot. Hit me with another present.”She tossed him one, hard. It hit him in the chest. He mock glared at his mom. “You said hit me,” she smiled.-Bryce and Amy”

“Mamma, don't you see -- you shouldn't hit me. He shouldn't hit me. You shouldn't hit me about God, Mamma. You should never hit anybody about God . . . .”

“If I let you go are you going to hit me again?”“What do you think?”“Then I’m not going to let you go.”