“And I don’t know what difference it made, this sudden flash. It wasn’t like I wanted to, you know, grab life in a passionate embrace and vow never to let it go until it let go of me. In a way, it makes things worse, not better. Once you stop pretending that everything’s shitty and you can’t wait to get out of it, which is the story I’d been telling myself for a while, then it gets more painful, not less. Telling yourself life is shit is like an anesthetic, and when you stop taking the Advil, then you really can tell how much it hurts, and where, and it’s not like that kind of pain does anyone a whole lot of good.”

“Once you stop pretending that everything's shitty and you can't wait to get out of it...then it gets more painful, not less. Telling yourself life is shit is like an anesthetic, and when you stop taking the Advil, then you really can tell how much it hurts, and where, and it's not like that kind of pain does anyone a whole lot of good. ”

“Mine crept up on me instead of hitting me fast, but after a while, it was the same—so that if I didn't have a…a salve, I couldn't function, and I'd start planning my day around just getting it," she said quietly, and had to swallow before she continued. "And you tell yourself that it makes you feel good—but really, you're just getting by. Because you feel like shit with it, but you really feel like shit without it, so you need it to get through the day. And after a while, you‟re desperate to get through the day without it, but know that stopping will feel worse than going—and you don't know if you're clinging to it as much as it‟s clinging to you. But you‟re constantly looking for a way to get rid of it without hurting yourself…but there‟s no way. And eventually you hate it as much as you need it. (..) So I never, ever want to be anybody's salve.”

“It feels like a lifetime ago that I was saying goodbye to you...God, I miss you. I love you so much, Natalie, and when I get home I’m going to keep loving you until you tell me to stop. But don’t, please. Don’t tell me to stop. I love you.With everything.”

“Once I'm free, we're going to find out exactly how much pain you can endure while remaining conscious. I won't stop until you tell me where my ring is." He leaned in to say at his ear, "I'll be sure to make you feel your loss.”

“people will tell you were they have gone, they'll tell you where to go, but until you get there for yourself you never really know.”