“Definitely avoid going out with ugly girls who say they want to be models. Not because they're ugly, but because they're mad".”

“So their cheerleaders are ugly, their football players are wimps, and they're our archrivals because why?”

“Why is it that beautiful women never seem to have curiosity? Is it because they know they're classical? With classical things the Lord finished the job. Ordinary ugly people know they're deficient and they go on looking for the pieces.”

“But you're beautiful, and the beautiful should be given whatever they want.""Hey, what about the ugly ones?""The ugly ones." She poked her tongue out. "It's their fault if their ugly. They're to be blamed, not pitied.”

“They're ugly, but those are the facts of life.”

“Beer makes all jokes funny. Beer makes ugly and fat women attractive, which is something ugly women can't do for themselves, because they're too busy getting fat. Beer is also refreshing and a good listener.”