“He's at the chocolate teapot end of the competency scale.”

“The artistic temperament is particularly unhelpful if it is just that, with no end product.”

“You wouldn't believe that so much could change just because a relationship ended.”

“In other words, it is impossible: we cannot function properly, and the evening ends in confusion and awkwardness, and very early.”

“We get together with people because they're the same or because they're different, and in the end we split with them for exactly the same reasons.”

“The truth about life was that nothing ever ended until you died, and even then you just left a whole bunch of unresolved narratives behind you.”

“That’s the thing with the young these days, isn’t it? They watch too many happy endings. Everything has to be wrapped up, with a smile and a tear and a wave. Everyone has learned, found love, seen the error of their ways, discovered the joys of monogamy, or fatherhood, or filial duty, or life itself. In my day, people got shot at the end of films, after learning only that life is hollow, dismal, brutish, and short.”