“It's easier to have parents if you've got a girlfriend.”
“It's far easier to forgive an enemy after you've got even with him.”
“I have that hypocrisy of a parent in that I'm like,'Come on, you've got to toughen up at the same time let me take care of that for you.”
“I heard you've been having some problems with your girlfriend." Headmistress Northcutt says. "No," I say. "Not at all." Audrey broke up with me after the winter holiday, exhausted by my moodiness. It's impossible to have problems with a girlfriend who's no longer mine.”
“If girlfriends were knees, I'd love to have both of mine replaced. That way, it'd be easier to run around on them.”
“Not only are love and hate such closely related emotions, but it's a lot easier to hate someone you've cared about than someone you never have.”