“Not a single person has died of boredom reading this book.”

“If you don’t laugh reading this book I’ll eat my pocket protector. Wait, did I just admit I had a pocket protector?”

“I see dead Presidents. Lincoln, Jefferson, Franklin, and Washington.”

“Many small businesses would rather face an angry barbarian horde than tackle their cash flow statement or price a new product.”

“The way I saw it, one of the single greatest advantages of being in a relationship was that you got to eat off the other person's plate.”

“I spent the morning reading Ovid. I read differently now, more painstakingly, knowing I am probably revisiting the books I love for the last time.”

“I read differently now, more painstakingly, knowing I am probably revisiting the books I love for the last time. (245)”