“I wished to punish her for her intolerable stoicism, which made it impossible for me to ever be truly needed by her in the most profound ways a person can need another, a need that often goes by the name of love.”

“I take my time because I love how it feels to carry her, the way she needs me, the way I need to protect her.”

“I whisper every word she needs to hear and I need to say. I tell her how beautiful she is. I tell her she amazes me. I make sure she knows she is the most precious person in the world to me. I make sure she understands what losing her means to me and how impossible it is to imagine my life without her.”

“I want to keep her, but I don’t want to tie her. I need her to be able to run, but not to want to. I need her to knowthat. I need her to feel safe with me. Fuck it, I just need her.”

“I watched her walk away, first thinking: good riddance – who needs this abuse? And then after a minute thinking: she never really understood me anyway. Which rapidly changed to: I never understood her at all. And before long I was watching her small back disappear and thinking: there goes the only person who ever gave a damn about me.”

“Aika often says that she is the only one capable of loving me the same way I am is the one capable of loving her, and no one will be able to stand my twisted personality other than her and for me to betray her is unthinkable and impossible”