“I was pretty sure I'd just had a nerdgasm.”

“But the next noise to echo through the hall was one I was pretty sure I recognized. It was the unmistakable sound of the shit hitting the fan.”

“I'd just met a talking garden gnome and the nightmare version of My Little Pony.”

“I'd managed to snatch a few more hours of rest, which was all I needed, so I felt fine despite our marathon evening of debauchery.”

“People are heavy when they're dead. I also nearly ralphed every time I caught a glimpse of the skin flap flapping, and I'd seen enough CSI to know that my stomach contents could be used to link me to the site.”

“He had this domineering way about him that totally ketchuped my tater tots—it was like he knew what I wanted more than I did.”

“Can I have this?" Iris asked in her honeydew voice, holding up one of the novels I'd brought her so that Amy could see the cover."Sorry, hot man is all out at the moment. We have some corpulent taxi driver and a slice of crazy cat-lady left, but we ran out of hot man hours ago.”