“Ryann… I love you. Do you not love me back' I swallow at that and try to fight back the emotions that I had just been thinking. I know that I do love him but I also know that this, me leaving, was the best thing for him. I am awful for him and I would never be good enough for this wonderful man whom stands in front of me. I can’t force the words out of my mouth so I simply just shake my head 'no'. I can see in his eyes that the lack of words that I used hurt him just as much as any words I could have said.”

“Oh gods... oh gods... I had hurt him... so many times, I had hurt him. By trying to hurt myself, I had hurt him. By trying to push him away, I had hurt him. Every time I opened my mouth and belittled myself with my "turns of rough poetry", I had sliced his heart as fine as my wrists. I did not know why he loved me as he did. I might never know. But as I stood there and held him, my back nagging at me and my leg screaming in protest, I realized that the least I could do was welcome his love with an open heart. And part of doing that was loving myself enough to want to live.”

“I needed him to know how I felt so I just kissed him as long as he would let me. I used to think talking was all about words. But you can say so much more with your eyes and your fingers and your touch. Words just make us one-dimensional.”

“He was so heartrendingly perfect he took my breath away. I wondered how I could have been so lucky to have met him, much less have him sacrifice so much of his time for me. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for him. I think I fell for him the first moment I laid eyes on him, but over the weeks my feelings had grown and grown. I had to admit that I was in love- deeply, endlessly, hopelessly, head over heels in love.”

“His arms went around my waist. "I been meanin' to tell you, Zach-I want a raise. And that's not a sexual innuendo.""I'll see what I can do."His lips brushed min, and he smiled. "I lied.""You don't want a raise?""It was a sexual innuendo.""I think I love you." The words were out of m mouth before I knew I was going to say them. I wanted to take them back immediately. If talking about moving in together sent him into a full blown panic attack, there was no telling what the L-word was going to do to him. He froze, just for a second, and I braced for the worst, but he just smiled and simply said, "I know.”

“And right now, all I can do is take his word. All I can do is take my trust and place it back into his hands. I just hope he knows that it's all the trust I have left to give him. I know for a fact that if he hurts me like he's hurt me before, it'll be the last time he ever hurts me.”