“I can't," I whispered. "Why? Because you can't or you won't?”

“Jude," I said, biting my lip. "I just can't. I can't do this." His expression darkened. "I know I don't deserve a second, or third, or whatever the hell this is chance, but you and I have something special, Luce, and you know it. Give me another chance, one more chance, and I'll walk a line so straight people will think I've been possessed." God I wanted to look away from those eyes, but I just couldn't. They were impossible to ignore. "One more chance. Not because I deserve it, but because we deserve one.”

“That's the thing about trust; it's like love. You can't help who you trust or love sometimes - you just do - you can't turn it on and off when you want to.”

“But, Luce, I need you to promise me something," he said, his face wrinkling. "If I ever mess things up again, whether it's a misunderstanding, or shit luck, or I just do what I was created to do and screw everything up," he paused, exhaling, "I want you to promise me you'll leave. Drop me like a bad habit and don't look back because god knows, it can't be me that walks away since I'm incapable of it.”

“What are you doing here, Luce?" he asked, studying me. "Watching you play," I answered, knowing it wasan't one he'd accept. "Yeah," he said, making a face. "That's not going to work for me." Of course it wasn't. "You know why," I added with a whisper. "I need to hear you say it," he said, swallowing. "I've gone too many days without hearing it." Sighing, I closed my eyes. "I love you," I said, knowing it was the truth and that it didn't change anything. "And I missed you." "Yeah," he said, "me too.”

“Then what are you doing here, Luce?" he asked, his voice elevating. "You want time? You want space? Fine. I gave that to you. But then you keep throwing yourself back into my life whenever the hell you choose. No warning. No apology, No permanence. You show up at my front door and sneak out the back without so much as a goodbye," he continued, never taking his eyes off of me. "You couldn't take the up and down. The roller coaster was going to kill you. You know what I can't take? You in and back out of my life before I even knew you were there in the first place. You looking at me the way you are now and then able to turn your back and walk away five minutes later." His hands clenched over my cheek before he lowered it. "That is what will kill me. I can't live wondering if you're still mine to claim.”

“I said those things and did those things because you'd hurt me," he continued, whispering just outside my ear. "And I wanted to hurt you. I wanted you to feel the same way I did when I woke up and found you gone. I wanted you to feel the anxiety I felt when I tried calling you and you wouldn't answer. I wanted you to feel the anger I felt when I showed up at the diner and watched you through the windows for a few minutes. Serving and talking to guests like it was just another day. Like you hadn't just broken my heart.”