“And I thought -- when you're a half-hour late, and your friends think you're in jail, it's probably a sign you steal too much.”

“The thing about plummetting downhill at fifty miles an hour on a snack platter - if you realize it's a bad idea when you're halfway down, it's too late.”

“When you start thinking that you need more hours in a day you either have too much on your plate, you need to revise your schedule, or you're simply becoming slow...”

“Love never comes when you're ready for it... As soon as you're ready for it, it's too late, and it's gone.”

“When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.”

“[Unhappiness] comes to you. You come into the world screaming. You cry when you're born because your lungs expand. You breathe. I think that's really kind of significant. You come into the world crying, and it's a sign that you're alive.”