“There is something about spending Christmas alone, naked, sitting by the Christmas tree gripping a shotgun, that lets you know your life is spinning dangerously outta control.”
“The perfect Christmas tree? All Christmas trees are perfect!”
“That is a perfectly good mini Christmas tree. We are going to sell that to charity because that is what Christmas is all about.”
“Everyone wants a Christmas tree. If you had a Christmas tree Santa would bring you stuff! Like hair curlers and slut shoes.”
“Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all thirty feet tall.”
“If my Valentine you won't be,I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree.”