“I was happy in the dream; but when I woke up it was with a feeling that I was falling apart, that I was cracking up from the inside and slowly falling to pieces. My heart was jumping and grating like a cold engine that doesn't want to start. My skin was crawling, and I couldn't manage a single clear thought. It was as if all my thoughts were crushed to bits just as they began to take shape. I didn't get much done that day.”

“...no way could I fall in love. I just couldn't go there yet. Settle for less. I didn't want to process through anything. I didn't want to pick up any pieces. Lower my expectations.”

“Everything I tried to put back together. Everything I tried to build back up. All of it begins to break apart. Just like that.It cracks and it falls and it shreds into a million fucking pieces and when I open my eyes, it's just me and it's just Chris.”

“And just when I thought the pain had dulled, my mind would betray me and bring Dad back to life in my dreams. Sometimes I didn't realize that he was dead until I awoke and then it was like a punch in the stomach. And sometimes I knew in my dream that I was dreaming, and I woke up crying.”

“One way or another, I have wound up destroying what I've loved. I've seen my dreams fall apart just when I seemed to achieve them. I always thought that was just the way life was. My life and everybody else's.”

“At that time I told myself that I didn't want to fall in love ever again. But that night while praying for your happiness Nana, I thought that despite all the wounds and all the pains it could cause I wanted to dream again, and love someone with all my heart.”