“They were sitting in their nice apartments or dorm rooms reading the latest Haruki Murakami story while I was sitting in a shitty little ramshackle house reading a used copy of Erskine Caldwell's God's Little Acre. They weren't bad people. They all did volunteer work, voted Democrat and believed in the goodness of humanity. I voted Democrat, needed Habitat for Humanity to come to my house and knew from personal experience the shittiness of humanity because I was shitty myself.”
“I think most people, and I'm talking vamp or human, are shitty. They put on an act. They pretend to be all nicey-nice, but are really just one step away from showing their true asshole-ness.”
“I'm human. That's how humans spend their time, doing shitty things.”
“I'm a good person but a shitty writer. You're a shitty person but a good writer. We'd make a good team.”
“How come every squitty little shitty snotty bastard knows my name?”
“We are all shitty little snowflakes dancing in the universe.”