“When life hands me lemons I...throw them back and demand JASPER HALE”

“...the controlling of the sex nature builds up a reservoir of strength, and it is this strength that opens the door to the Innermost.”

“When Life throws me lemon's, I get a Pen!”

“Bella Swan: Jasper? Are you sure there's nothing I can do to help? Jasper Hale: Well just your presence alone, your scent, will distract the newborns. Their hunting instinct will take over, and drive 'em crazy. Bella Swan: Good, I'm glad. [Jasper nods and begins to walk away] Bella Swan: . Bella Swan: Hey, [Jasper turns around] Bella Swan: how do you know so much about this? Jasper Hale: I didn't have quite the same upbringing as my adopted siblings. [Rolls up sleeves and shows Bella his arms, which have bite marks on them] Jasper Hale: . Bella Swan: [Hops off Jeep] Those bites are like mine. Jasper Hale: Battle scars [smiles] Jasper Hale: . All the training the Confederate Army gave me was useless against the newborns, but still, I never lost a fight. Bella Swan: Hey, this - this happened during the Civil War? Jasper Hale: I was the youngest major in the Texas Calvary, all without having seen any real battle. Bella Swan: Until...? Jasper Hale: Till I met a certain immortal... Maria”

“When life gives you lemons, throw them at people. HARD.”

“When life gives you lemons...throw the lemons at people..it's hilarious!”

“When life hands you lemons, squeeze the fuck out of them!!!”