“You want to be happy? You want to be well? Then put your boots on.”

“You can put your boots in the oven, but that doesn't make them biscuits. - You can say whatever you want about something, but that doesn't change what it is.”

“If you want the law to leave you alone, keep your hair trimmed and your boots shined.”

“The whole world wants you to be miserable. It wants you to put your head down, sigh to yourself, and give up on being happy, and I know just as well as anyone that sometimes, giving up seems like the only option, but if you take one thing from this, I hope it’s this: Don’t give those mother-fuckers an inch. Stand your ground every chance you get because everybody deserves a chance to be happy.”

“If you want to be happy, you need to set your mind on happiness.”

“You want coffees with your Happy Meals?Yes, we want coffee with our Happy Meals. It makes them more happy.”