“without any assistance or guidance from youi have loved you assiduously for 8 months 2 wks & a dayi have been stood up four timesi've left 7 packages on yr doorstepforty poems 2 plants & 3 handmade notecards i lefttown so i cd send to you have been no help to meon my jobyou call at 3:00 in the mornin on weekdaysso i cd drive 27 1/2 miles cross the bay before i go to workcharmin charminbut you are of no assistancei want you to knowthis waz an experimentto see how selifsh i cd beif i wd really carry on to snare a possible loverif i waz capable of debasin my self for the love of anotherif i cd stand not being wantedwhen i wanted to be wanted& i cannotsowith no further assistance & no guidance from youi am endin this affairthis note is attached to a planti've been waterin since the day i met youyou may water ityr damn self”

“I knew I loved you before I met youI think I dreamed you into lifeI knew I loved you before I met youI have been waiting all my life”

“Tobey puts the CD on. Then he comes over and hugs me. I lean my head on his chest.'I want to know everything about you,' he whispers.”

“Ten Things You Shouldn't Say on a Date.1. You're wearing that?2. Something smells funny.3. Where's the Tylenol?4. And to think, I first wanted to date your brother.5. I have a confession to make…6. My dad has a suit just like that.7. That man is hot. Look at him.8. My ex, may he rot in hell forever…9. You're going to order that? Seriously?10. You're how old?”

“Do you really think he was flirting with me?""Let's see. He gave you candy you hate - I saw your face - and a CD of songs..." He looks at the CD. "All of these are, like, twenty years old at least. Figures. Oh, and he groped your face. Sounds like true love to me.”

“1. All glass will break.2. I am made of glass.3. Therefore, I will break.”