“All I want for my birthday is a date with my muse Christina Aguilera Is that too much for a guy to ask for?”

“I clear my throat. "You deserve to be taken out for your birthday. And...I want to be the guy who takes you on your first date.”

“The event happened on my birthday. I don’t remember the date, I only know it was my birthday because there was no cake or presents.”

“If you love something,Let it go,If it comes back it's yours,That's how you know kno-o-owNonsense, Christina Aguilera! I say, 'If you love it, file it away under "Things I love". If it's required at a later date, you'll know exactly where it i-i-i-is.”

“When I was twenty-five, I went on exactly four dates with a much older guy whom I’ll call Peter Parker. I’m calling him Peter Parker because the actual guy’s name was also alliterative, and because, well, it’s my book and I’ll name a guy I dated after Spider-Man’s alter ego if I want to.”

“All I wanted to do was fly. Is that too much to ask for?”