“Indeed, everybody wants to be a wow, But not everybody knows exactly how. Some people think they will eventually wear diamonds instead of rhinestones Only by everlastingly keeping their noses to their ghrinestones”

“Everybody who has a baby thinks everybody who hasn't a baby ought to have a baby,Which accounts for the success of such plays as the Irish Rose of Abie,The idea apparently being that just by being fruitfulYou are doing something beautiful,Which if it is trueMeans that the common housefly is several million times more beautiful than me or you.”

“People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven’t what they want that they really don’t want it.”

“The trouble with a kitten is that it eventually becomes a cat.”

“The trouble with a kitten is that....... It eventually becomes a cat!”

“There’s nothing that keeps it’s youthSo far as I know, but a tree and the truth”

“Some pains are physical, and some pains are mental, but the one that's both is dental.”