“Decode the message of failure and enjoy the fortune thereof.”

“That was asking a lot of my readers, I realized, but I was trying to write the novel I would most enjoy decoding.”

“Seeking a woman who looks like a feminized version of L. Ron Hubbard to help me decode intergalactic messages that I might receive on my Alien Communication Helmet. And after we receive and decode the messages, this female friend could help me make spaghetti with my aforementioned Alien Communication Helmet (it's basically a strainer with antennas). Please don’t send me telepathic thoughts, as it might disrupt transmissions from other galaxies. E-mail only if interested.”

“I don't believe in failure. It's not failure if you enjoy the process.”

“Waste lies not in the number of possessions but in the failure to enjoy them.”

“You write not for children but for yourself. And if by good fortune children enjoy what you enjoy, why then you are a writer of children's books.”