“Don’t you dare fucking come before me, you asshole!”

“Come back to me. Don’t leave me all alone. Don’t die on me, you stupid sonovabitch. You goddamn fuckingidiot. I told you to stay out of the damn fight! Why the hell don’t you ever listen? I fucking hate you. I hate you,you hear me? Don’t you dare die on me, because I need to kill you with my bare hands.”

“Come on, asshole,” Paul said as he stepped onto the porch. “Come make me cry— I dare ya.”

“How did you get my number anyway?”“Some asshole named Nash.”“Asshole?”“Yeah, asshole. Don’t tell me you don’t think he’s an asshole!”I laugh uncomfortably. “Um, no I don’t think he’s an asshole. He’s always been nice to me.”asshole. He’s always been nice to me.”“Of course he has. You’re gorgeous. What man wouldn’t be nice to you?”“Plenty.”“Assholes, all of them,” he teases.“They’re assholes, too?”“Yep.”“Is everyone an asshole today?”“Yep,” he repeats. “Word of the day toilet paper.”I laugh, genuinely this time. “Is that right?”

“Don’t you dare pee on me.”

“Piss me off again and I'll rip you a new asshole and then fuck it. And that's just the foreplay.”