“My vagina has just found a new best friend”

“The best day of my life used to be the day I asked you to marry me onstage in Pittsburgh, but as memorable as that was, today has been even better.”

“What’s a little sac connection between friends?”

“I’m your best buddy, and you don’t want me to die from a giant case of blue balls?”“I don’t think that’s fatal,” Aggie said.“Have you ever had blue balls?” Eric asked.She grinned and flipped her gaze to the ceiling. “Well…”“They’re not just for Smurfs.”

“If I had the strength, I'd find myself otherwise occupied, but my legs refuse to move. My mouth seems to be working just fine though. If I had gills, I could go down on you.”

“Your balls are touching mine" Jace said between clenched teeth. "What's a little sac contact between friends?”

“What kind of a dork uses a lame stage name anyway? And why Shade? Because he wears sunglasses all the time?""Yeah, he has to wear them. He has vision problems.."Melanie's stomach dropped and she covered her big, blabbering mouth with one hand. "He does? Shit. Now I feel bad."The guy chuckled. "I'm just fucking with you. He wears them because he enjoys looking like a douche twenty-four seven.”