“First I brush my teeth and then I sharpen my tongue.”
“When I can't sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.”
“So little time and so little to do.”
“I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.”
“Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.”
“Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision.”