“Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision.”
“In some situations I was difficult, in odd moments impossible, in rare moments loathsome, but at my best unapproachably great.”
“I'm controversial. My friends either dislike me or hate me”
“I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.”
“A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don't think of it first.”
“When I can't sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.”