“I'm controversial. My friends either dislike me or hate me”

“Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision.”

“I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.”

“Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.”

“First I brush my teeth and then I sharpen my tongue.”

“On Ira Gershwin: I remember when he was given the manuscript of a novel written by a woman friend who had hopes of having it published. To his astonishment it turned out to be the dirtiest, most pornographic book he had ever read. When the lady mentioned that she intended to use a nom de plume, Ira suggested she call herself Henrietta Miller.”

“In some situations I was difficult, in odd moments impossible, in rare moments loathsome, but at my best unapproachably great.”