“It's not what you are, it's what you don't become that hurts.”

“Happiness isn't something you experience, it's something you remember.”

“A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don't think of it first.”

“What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.”

“Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.”

“You can't possibly hear the last movement of Beethoven's Seventh and go slow. (Oscar trying to talk his way out of a speeding ticket)”

“There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”