“Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.”

“Happiness isn't something you experience, it's something you remember.”

“There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”

“In some situations I was difficult, in odd moments impossible, in rare moments loathsome, but at my best unapproachably great.”

“What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.”

“A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don't think of it first.”

“I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.”