“A pessimist is somebody who complains about the noise when opportunity knocks.”

“Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.”

“I am tired of myself tonight. I should like to be somebody else.”

“The nicest feeling in the world is to do a good deed anonymously-and have somebody find out.”

“I love hearing my relations abused. It is the only thing that makes me put up with them at all. Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't got the remotest knowledge of how to live nor the smallest instinct about when to die.”

“I hate people who are not serious about meals. It is so shallow of them.”

“Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable.”