“I don't know how to talk.Oh! talk to every woman as if you loved her, and to every man as if he bored you, and at the end of your first season you will have the reputation of possessing the most perfect social tact.”

“You have always told me it was Ernest. I have introduced you to every one as Ernest. You answer to the name of Ernest. You look as if your name was Ernest. You are the most earnest-looking person I ever saw in my life. It is perfectly absurd your saying that your name isn't Ernest.”

“Well, I don't like your clothes. You look perfectly ridiculous in them. Why on earth don't you go up and change? It's perfectly childish to be in mourning for a man who is actually staying a whole week with you in your house as a guest. I call it grotesque.”

“Miss Prim says that all good looks are a snare.' 'They are a snare that every sensible man would like to be caught in.' 'Oh, I don't think I would care to catch a sensible man. I shouldn't know what to talk to him about.”

“Would you be in any way offended if I said that you seem to me to be in every way the visible personification of absolute perfection?”

“This ghastly state of things is what you call Bunburying, I suppose?Algernon. Yes, and a perfectly wonderful Bunbury it is. The most wonderful Bunbury I have ever had in my life.Jack. Well, you've no right whatsoever to Bunbury here.Algernon. That is absurd. One has a right to Bunbury anywhere one chooses. Every serious Bunburyist knows that.”

“What nonsense people talk about happy marriages!" exclaimed Lord Henry. " A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her.”