“I like talking to a brick wall- it's the only thing in the world that never contradicts me!”

“I love to talk about nothing. It's the only thing I know anything about.”

“There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.”

“I love scrapes. They are the only things that are never serious.""Oh, that's nonsense, Algy. You never talk anything but nonsense.""Nobody ever does.”

“Art is the only serious thing in the world. And the artist is the only person who is never serious.”

“My dear Arthur, I never talk scandal. I only talk gossip.What is the difference between scandal and gossip?Oh! Gossip is charming! History is merely gossip. But scandal is gossip made tedious by morality.”

“What odd chaps you painters are! You do anything in the world to gain a reputation. As soon as you have one, you seem to want to throw it away. It is silly of you, for there is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. A portrait like this would set you far above all the young men in England, and make the old men jealous, if old men are ever capable of any emotion.”