“Lady Bracknell: “He was eccentric, I admit. But only in later years. And that was the result of the Indian climate, and marriage, and indigestion, and other things of that kind.”

“Jack: Actually, I was found. Lady Bracknell: Found? Jack: Uh, yes, I was in... a handbag. Lady Bracknell: A handbag? Jack: Yes, it was... [makes gestures] Jack: an ordinary handbag.”

“Lady Bracknell. Good afternoon, dear Algernon, I hope you are behaving very well.Algernon. I’m feeling very well, Aunt Augusta.Lady Bracknell. That’s not quite the same thing. In fact the two things rarely go together.”

“Lady Bracknell: Is this Miss Prism a female of repellent aspect, remotely connected with education?Chasuble: (Somewhat indignantly) She is the most cultivated of ladies, and the very picture of respectability.Lady Bracknell: It is obviously the same person.”

“Admittedly, I am only seventeen now. But some years are longer than others.”

“This was dumb and admittedly creepy in an Edward Cullen kind of way, but it was the only thing I could think to do.”