“LORD ILLINGWORTH What do you think she'd do if I kissed her?MRS ALLONBY Either marry you, or strike you across the face with her glove. What would you do if she struck you across the face with her glove?LORD ILLINGWORTH Fall in love with her, probably.”

“MRS ALLONBY Is she such a mystery?LORD ILLINGWORTH She is more than a mystery - she is a mood.MRS ALLONBY Moods don't last.LORD ILLINGWORTH It is their chief charm.”

“MRS ALLONBY Have you tried a good reputation?LORD ILLINGWORTH It is one of the many annoyances to which I have never been subjected.”

“MRS ALLONBY You have your looking-glassLORD ILLINGWORTH It is unkind. I merely shows me my wrinkles.MRS ALLONBY Mine is better behaved. It never tells me the truth.LORD ILLINGWORTH Then it is in love with you.”

“I've given her signs! I've given her plenty of signs. What does she want me to do? Slap him across the face with my glove, and challenge him to pistols at dawn?”

“LADY HUNSTANTON Lord Illingworth, you don't think that uneducated people should be allowed to have votes?LORD ILLINGWORTH I think they are the only people who should.”