“MRS ALLONBY You have your looking-glassLORD ILLINGWORTH It is unkind. I merely shows me my wrinkles.MRS ALLONBY Mine is better behaved. It never tells me the truth.LORD ILLINGWORTH Then it is in love with you.”

“MRS ALLONBY Is she such a mystery?LORD ILLINGWORTH She is more than a mystery - she is a mood.MRS ALLONBY Moods don't last.LORD ILLINGWORTH It is their chief charm.”

“MRS ALLONBY Have you tried a good reputation?LORD ILLINGWORTH It is one of the many annoyances to which I have never been subjected.”

“LORD ILLINGWORTH What do you think she'd do if I kissed her?MRS ALLONBY Either marry you, or strike you across the face with her glove. What would you do if she struck you across the face with her glove?LORD ILLINGWORTH Fall in love with her, probably.”

“LORD ILLINGWORTH: The soul is born old but grows young. That is the comedy of life.MRS ALLONBY: And the body is born young and grows old. That is life's tragedy.”

“MRS ALLONBY I adore them. The clever people never listen, and the stupid people never talk.HESTER I think the stupid people talk a great deal.MRS ALLONBY Ah, I never listen!”