“Oh, don't cough, Ernest. When one is dictating one should speak fluently and not cough. Besides, I don't know how to spell a cough.”

“An admirable idea! Mr. Worthing, there is just one question I would like to be permitted to put to you. Where is your brother Ernest? We are both engaged to be married to your brother Ernest, so it is a matter of some importance to us to know where your brother Ernest is at present.”

“You have always told me it was Ernest. I have introduced you to every one as Ernest. You answer to the name of Ernest. You look as if your name was Ernest. You are the most earnest-looking person I ever saw in my life. It is perfectly absurd your saying that your name isn't Ernest.”

“MRS. ALLONBY. It is only fair to tell you beforehand he has got no conversation at all.LADY STUTFIELD. I adore silent men.MRS ALLONBY. Oh, Ernest isn't silent. He talks the whole time. But he has got no conversation. What he talks about I don't know. I haven't listened to him for years.”

“But don't you think one can be happy when on is married?Perfectly happy. But the happiness of a married man, my dear Gerald, depends on the people he has not married.But if one is in love?One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.”

“Besides, if Hans came here, he might ask me to let him have some flour on credit, and that I could not do. Flour is one thing, and friendship is another, and they should not be confused. Why, the words are spelled differently, and mean quite different things. Everyone can see that.”

“Oh! I don't think I would like to catch a sensible man. I shouldn't know what to talk to him about.”