“Musical comedy is the Irish stew of drama. Anything may be put into it, with the certainty that it will improve the general effect.”

“I believe there are two ways of writing novels. One is making a sort of musical comedy without music and ignoring real life altogether; the other is going deep down into life and not caring a damn...”

“The general effect was rather as if I had swallowed six-pennorth of dynamite and somebody touched it off inside me.”

“I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with the bit of lead piping.”

“He was more like something out of Dickens than anything human.”

“Major-General Sir Wilfred Bosher came to distribute the prizes at that school', proceeded Gussie in a dull, toneless voice.'He dropped a book. He stooped to pick it up. And, as he stooped, his trousers split up the back'.'How we roared!”

“I suppose half the time Shakespeare just shoved down anything that came into his head.”