“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.”

“Politics is the business of getting power and privilege without possessing merit. A politician is anyone who asks individuals to surrender part of their liberty - their power and privilege - to State, Masses, Mankind, Planet Earth, or whatever. This state, those masses, that mankind, and the planet will then be run by . . . politicians.”

“Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.”

“Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.”

“Politicians are wonderful people as longa as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.”

“You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.”

“Never fight an inanimate object.”