“I’m not, like, that smart. ”

“I’m a smart cookie. Chocolate chip.”

“I’m so smart that I make everyone around me smarter. I do this by being dumber than everybody.
”

“I’m not a romantic, I’m a half-wit. Only stupid people would think I’m smart. I’m not something anyone should know. I’m a lunatic wandering around for scraps, I’m like every single miserable moron I’ve scorned and pretended I didn’t recognize. I’m all of them, every last ugly thing in a bad last-minute costume. I’m not different, not at all, not different from any other speck of a thing. I’m a blemished blemish, a ruined ruin, a stained wreck so failed I can’t see what I used to be.”

“What is this?' 'A Smart Car' It looked like an SUV took a dump and out came the Smart Car”

“There’s a third option,” I retorted. “Maybe I’m smart enough not to be afraid of little boys running around playing commando.”