“How do you kill a vampire? "Silver bullets?”“That’s werewolves.”“Cloves of garlic?”“That’s French bread.”

“I'll tell you what: How about no more suicide attempts; no more walking off with strangers; no more trying to fight vampires with silly, human weapons--silver bullets only work on werewolves, Jocelyn--and no more holding Nachari's hand. And we'll be just fine.”

“There is a crucifix, a few cloves of garlic, a wooden stake, a hammer, a blob of Silly Putty, and a pocketknife. “You do realize these people aren’t vampires, right?” I say when Sam walks back in. “Yeah, but you never know. They’re probably crazy, like you said.” “And even if we were hunting vampires, what the hell is the Silly Putty for?” He shrugs. “Just want to be prepared.”

“You have the right to kill me, but you do not have the right to judge me. Boom. That’s the whole movie. That’s life.”

“That’s great, Grace, but in case you’ve forgotten, we’re supposed to kill vampires, not play nice and have lunch with them. - Archer”

“If stakes and garlic were the top two things that could kill a vampire, ninth grade gym was a close third.”