“Being called "closed-minded" by religious people is like being called yellow by a bunch of bananas.”
“People used what they called a telephone because they hated being close together and they were too scared of being alone.”
“And they have a display of bananas, which are not bananas but called plantains and are more like a potato pretending to be a banana.”
“People hate it when you call them on jackassery. That's a big fact of human nature: Not a lot of people want to be called on being assholes. They prefer to do their assholishness in the dark and cover it up with fancy words. Because they don't mind being evil - they just hate being evil where people might see.”
“Here’s a little tip for you. If you don’t like being called a murderer, don’t kill people.”
“When the people are being beaten with a stick, they are not much happier if it is called the People's Stick.”