“You'd tell the world what your best friend wore to sleep if you thought it made a good enough story.”

“Good story' means something worth telling that the world wants to hear. Finding this is your lonely task...But the love of a good story, of terrific characters and a world driven by your passion, courage, and creative gifts is still not enough. Your goal must be a good story well told.”

“Best friends, no matter what they do or how much they hurt you, it only hurts as much as it does because they are your best friend. And none of us are perfect. Mistakes were made for best friends to forgive; it’s what makes being a best friend official.”

“... a true friend has your best interests at heart and the pluck to tell you what you need to hear.”

“Dumpers are not inherently worse than Dumpees-breaking up isn't something that gets done to you; it's something that happens with you." "And the other moral of the story is that you, Smartypants, just told an amazing story, proving that given enough time, and enough coaching, and enough hearing stories from current and former associates of Gutshot Textiles, anyone-anyone-can learn to tell a damned good story." "Something about telling that story made my gut grow back together.”

“credit, youre jewish, your best friend is black, and your girlfriend is a cheating whore. Even if I wore gay, I'd still have it better than you.”