“Don't resist the urge to burn down the stronghold, kill off the main love interest or otherwise foul up the lives of your characters.”
“How can you pull down strongholds of Satan if you don't even have the strength to turn off your TV?”
“Become major, Paul. Live like a hero. That's what the classics teach us. Be a main character. Otherwise what is life for?”
“Your lifeline...oh, the burning stick. Right." Leo resisted the urge to set his hand ablaze and yell: BWAH HA HA!”
“...So that someone might want to put you in a book...So that you may be worth putting in a book...Live like a hero...Be a main character. Otherwise, what is life for?”
“Use your imagination. Trust me, your lives are not interesting. Don't write them down.”