“The waiter came over to ask if all is delicious. As we have not yet ordered, it is certainly the perfect time to enquire.”

“Letter writing allows us to be alone yet connected. We need a certain amount of solitude in order to have true ideas to communicate. But few of us desire solitude all the time .... Yet solitude is what makes us contemplative and receptive, more aware of life's gifts and our own special blessings.”

“But I called, as we came near, to one who stood beside the water's edge, asking him what men did in Astahahn and what their merchandise was, and with whom they traded. He said, "Here we have fettered and manacled Time, who would otherwise slay the gods." I asked him what gods they worshipped in that city, and he said, "All those gods whom Time has not yet slain." (from "Idle Days on the River Yann")”

“Waiter, this is not the policeman I ordered. I wanted one with a lot less sauce.”

“A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air."Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife annual and tosses it over his shoulder."I'm a panda," he says, at the door. "Look it up."The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.”

“I have tipped waiters, and I have been tipped by waiters.”