“Why are you smiling?''I'm relieved,' I said honestly. 'I was worried I'd given myself cadmium poisoning, or I had some mysterious disease. This is just someone trying to kill me.”

“I'd just killed some of the best riders in the world - and I was clean. I'd taken nothing - no EPO, no cortisone, no testosterone, no painkillers, no caffeine. I had justified to myself that I was a great rider without drugs - yet perversely given myself the green light to dope again. I'd proved what I could do clean - how much more could I do if I was doped?”

“Where you worried about me?""No, I'm ranting for fun, because I'm a disagreeable bitch!"He smiled."You're a moron!" I told him.He just looked at me. Happy golden lights danced in his eyes. I'd learned exactly what those sparks meant. Fury fled, replaced by alarm."Kiss me and I'll kill you," I warned."It might be worth it," he said softly.”

“Why are you here? Did you come to try to kill me again?” “Oddly enough, no. I—I had a bad dream. I needed to talk to someone.”

“It's that you're not outraged that someone's trying to kill you. Your just accept it, almost like it's normal. It isn't normal""Assassins aren't normal, even for me, Richard" I said. "Just vampires, zombies, and werewolves" he said. I smiled. "Yeah.”

“I let myself think, I hope he loves me, and then I wonder if I've said it out loud. I try hard to remember if I'd formed the words with my lips. No. I didn't. I'm sure I didn't. I'm convinced of it, until he murmurs back, "Don't worry. He does.”