“The way to screw up somebody's life is to give them what they want.”
“If somebody wants to be your enemy, there's only one thing you can do. You give them exactly what they want. It confuses them and makes them wonder what you're up to.”
“My dad used to say that life's a journey, but somebody screwed up and lost the map.”
“Conflict of interest. I wanted to date somebody who was less screwed up than me, and she wasn't.”
“It's bad enough in life to do without something YOU want; but confound it, what gets my goat is not being able to give somebody something you want THEM to have.”
“People are screwed up in this world. I'd rather be with someone screwed up and open about it than somebody perfect and ready to explode.”