“Knowledge cannot replace friendship. I'd rather be an idiot than lose you.”

“I'd rather lose her from my life, but know she was alive and well than lose her altogether to death.”

“I have two friends, Steve and Martin. But I'd happily replace both for the friendship of Steve Martin.”

“I dont know," said Simon, "it doesn't sound so bad to me. I'd rather have someone mess around inside my head than chop it off.""Then you're a bigger idiot than you look.”

“But I'd rather help than watch. I'd rather have a heart than a mind. I'd rather expose too much than too little. I'd rather say hello to strangers than be afraid of them. I would rather know all this about myself than have more money than I need. I'd rather have something to love than a way to impress you.”

“Ugh, I swear I'd rather stab myself in the eye with a spoon repeatedly than be nice to some idiot, which means pretty much anyone I come in contact with. Damn, I'd be stabbing my eye a lot.”